Im back from my trip to California to be in my best friend’s wedding. It was definitely and emotional roller coaster. Not only because of the wedding but also dealing with my eating disorder while I was on my trip.
Im weirdly happy yet disappointed that I let ED take over as my coping mechanism during my trip but I’m home now where I have many supports to help me get through the rough patch.
My best friend is naturally thin and it was so hard seeing her and being around her the whole week just because I was constantly comparing myself and wishing that I were as thin as she was. Its a terrible feeling to feel stuck in a body that you hate or that you can’t wishfully change to look like you want to look like.
I came home from my trip last night and because I wasn’t really taking care of myself during my trip… last night my body finally took a fall…LITERALLY. I was weak from not getting enough sleep all week and not nourishing myself enough all week that I took a HARD fall in my bathroom in the middle of the night. I was so disoriented that I couldn’t even get up until my boyfriend came to find me. A bit of an eye opener…don’t you think?!